The common denominator in all smug characters is that they are closed. Closed to new ideas, to a more flexible way of thinking, to vulnerability and humility, to wonder and curiosity. They live in their own tight world, safe from challenge, always correct.
“There’s something calming about crosswords,” Mac Motz says, and I know exactly what he means. You are focused on that grid, and everything else falls away.
A “coign” is a jutting-out corner or high point that gives you an excellent view of whatever you are trying to see. I was trying to see…what? A different world, graceful and mysterious, exquisitely colored and lit.
The virus has latched on to receptors on the cells lining my respiratory tract, and it clings there, reproducing rapidly. I know this because my throat feels scorched, and though I continue bravely on with my day, it is punctuated by violent sneezes that explode without warning.
More than most clothing, jackets last for years, so their most important quality, the accretion of stories, has a chance to build modestly, privately.
“Yeah, no” is managing the social interaction, not just the literal meaning. If somebody offers advice and you respond with a flat “No,” that sounds a bit ungrateful, even surly.
At twelve, I read that in Purgatory, souls were purified with a cleansing fire, removing small sins, whisking away tiny bits of filth, mending any cracks. My father had to be made ready to enter the presence of God.
What a clever way to begin a program of poetry scored for song and instruments—and a season ahead of similar creative thrills. You have heard of a vicious circle? This was the exact opposite.
Self-talk, the practice is called, and after decades of research, shrinks now admit it can be quite healthy. We learn to speak, after all, by jabbering away in our crib, speaking to no one in particular, catching the rhythm and intonation before we have the vocabulary.
I think more about what else in my social life I should see, ask, remember, and do, even when I can do little. Remember F. Scott Fitzgerald: Relationships are the brutality that sustains.