Olivia J. Williams is a rising junior at Washington University in St. Louis majoring in African and African-American Studies. She has been published in Drake University’s literary journal Periphery and Washington University’s independent Black magazine RIZE. Her research paper, “Sustenance Abuse: Anorexia, Bulimia, & Black Women,” won the 2019 Dean James E. McLeod First-Year Writing Prize.
It is strange; I am more scared after speaking than before. My stomach twists tighter as thoughts whirl. Will they revoke my scholarship for speaking out? Will I be targeted? Will I keep my job? My leadership position? Is it activism yet?
There is no mourning for my grandfather left inside me. There is only guilt as I look into my father’s tired face, guilt as I scroll quickly past a COVID headline.